Monday, June 4, 2007

The Best 3 Words In Football


The Broncos signed Sam Adams today! Why am I so pumped about inking an over the hill, average performing defensive tackle? The most exciting play in football could be on its way to the Mile High City.

I'm not exaggerating when I say the most exhilarating thing a hardcore or casual fan can be a part of is "fat guy running." Overtime, game winning field goals, and kick returns can't combine to elicit the same job dropping response.

Fat in football is much more significant than fat in society. Your average lineman is 300 lbs, so for me to consider you fat, you've got to be pushing 400.

And when you see a fifth of a ton scoop up a football and take off towards the end zone, you're bound to smile.*

My personal favorite "fat guy running" came courtesy of Mr. Adams (shown left). He was a member of the Bills and my memory puts his weight at half a grand. The ball deflected towards "the man mountain," and after a few juggles, he had the interception. Adams took off about as fast as Newman running from the dilophosaurus. Since his arms were wider than the football, you couldn't see the pigskin as he cradled it between his "chest" and "forearm." He ran 37 yards for the score, and it was the greatest 7 minutes of the year.**

So Sam, now that you've made it out of Cincinnati without ending up in a Hamilton County Jail, please set a football milestone. Denver is ready to watch you become the only defense lineman ever to record a "Pick 6" for 3 different NFL teams.

*During a couple of lucky football Sundays at 831, the words "Fat Guy Running" would come screaming out of a viewers' mouth as everybody else in the room quickly shifted their attention.

**Fat Guy Running also plays a big part in the NFL's past. See The Only Triumphant Moment in Buffalo Super Bowl History.

No comments: