Who Is The Mailer Daemon???

And how does she know every e-mail address in the world?

(It has to be female. No man in the world has an address book this up to date)

See Ya July

And all the great stories you gave us

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/07/27/jokester.dentist.ap/index.html
Cool stuff like that never happens to me when I go to the dentist. Sad.


http://www.silive.com/news/advance/index.ssf?/base/news/118319238613250.xml&coll=1
This is my nomination for story of the year. There's no point in me even writing anything else.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/07/19/glacier.nudes.ap/index.html
Yes, this will definately draw some attention to shrinkage. I just don't think it will be of the glacier variety.

Here's one fresh from the newswire:
"OVER 5-THOUSAND MARIJUANA PLANTS HAVE BEEN FOUND IN DALLAS, TEXAS. THE NEARLY 3-ACRE SPREAD COVERED IN THE POT PLANT CAN BE SEEN FROM THE AIR. THE PLANTS WERE FOUND PLANTED UNDER SOME TREES OFF A DALLAS HIGHWAY. POLICE WILL BE ON THE GROUND MONDAY TO SECURE AND COLLECT EVIDENCE."

But if you happen to be in the area before Monday...looks like you're in the clear.

From Slate.com
"Barry Bonds broke baseball's all-time home run record last night with a towering, eighth-inning long ball against the Washington Nationals. After smashing his 756th career home run, the seven-time National League MVP pumped his fists in the air repeatedly. Bonds then reached into his back pocket and pulled out a large syringe labeled "DRUGS FOR CHEATING AT BASEBALL." The San Francisco Giants slugger lowered his pants, injected himself in the buttocks, and extended both middle fingers before setting off on his record-setting jaunt around the bases."

Great Joke, Wish I made it.

Leno: The Only Chance That Michael Vick has of getting off is an all cat jury.

Unnecessary Over-Analysis of Fast Food Advertising

So Subway has ripped off the monopoly game from McDonalds and put Scrabble stickers on their drinks and tuna and what not.

I'm fine with that, mostly because I can't stop laughing at the new commercial.

Why are all the folks who get soaked by flying soft drinks so happy? They've just been pelted by a stream of cola and look like they've never been more satisfied. Why aren't they jealous that the person next to them (who has just ruined their clothing) has just won a Sandals vacation? After all, they were probably either just in front or behind the beverage chucker in line to buy their sub and just barely missed the winning sticker.

Subway has seriously misrepresented a strangers reaction to being drenched with diet. Next time I'm there, I plan to hurl my drink all over my sandwich artist before declaring "sorry, I thought I got the letter x."

Wimbledon

It's that time of year again where you get to play tennis on grass.

I love watching adult tennis players get little league green stains on their elbows.

It got me to think...what other sports would be hilarious on alternative surfaces? Here's what I got off the top of my head.

1) Soccer on Ice
2) Stock Car Racing on The Beach (Picture Pit Stops)
3) Golf On Hardwood Floors (700 Yard Drives)
4) Football In The Ocean*
5) Hockey In Confined Basement On Carpet*
6) Baseball In A Raquetball Court
7) Basketball On Rubber
8) Golf On Ski Slope**
9) Wrestling On a Hammock
10) Boxing In an Open Helicopter

Let Me Know If You Can Think of Others

*Been There, Done That
**Actually Exists

Thank You Hooters Dirty Hands Wipey Thingy

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Even Rocky Had A...

Alright, Time to get back on track here.

I've gotten lazy. This blog has gotten lazy.

As I rehab the knee, it's obvious I need to get back in shape. The problem is I can't find an 80's montage lying around anywhere.

If you come accross one, let me know. Then we'll be back in business.